Our Most Eggstravagant Price Eggjustment for Bank Holiday Week! It’s No Yolking Matter.
Instead of sitting down eggshausted after a day out over bank holiday weekend, scrambling your brain watching the usual shit on the telly, Eggs Factor, Doctor Who, (and the tedious Daleggs ‘Eggsterminate!, Eggsterminate!’) , Star Tregg, Eggs Men:Apocalypse, or some Arnold Shwarzenegger film you’ve already seen , why not do what celebrities Yolko Ono, and Eggy Pop (probably) do and relax with a tank of Brother Adam’s Buckfast Bee1, thought to be eggstinct, but now resurreggted and due to reappear as the appoaching [well thought out and proportional] TPD reggulations come into farce. (And we thought Breggsit would deliver us from this evil)
…Eggs Benedict Cummerbund was unavailable for comment.
We’re running low on all our eggsisting nicotine e-liquid stock, and we’ve unearthed the final dreggs of our celebrated first ever ejuice flavour, Brother Adam’s Buckfast Egg (wtf??). Yule (double WTFF??) be eggstatic when you inhale the sweet fragrant , light tobacco based vapour, and as you eggshale the natural, unrefined, locally sourced Buckfast honey coats your palate and has an aromatic depth of sweetness we think is really quite unique.
We’re Going Yolko, down in Eggapulco. Or something.
To celebrate the Bee’s Ressureggtion, (ON THE VERY SAME DATE AS THE BABY JESUS RESURREGGTED himself) O’melette any customer cracking open their wallets and spending over £10 on ejuice from our store, online or in the shop in Eggfastleigh, take a 17ml bottle of Brother Adam’s Eggfast Bee, strictly while stocks last.2 This juice will not offered for retail sale and is not available for purchase in its own right.
Zero nicotine juices and nic shots
Once the eggsisting stock is run down, the offer will end, and then we’ll crack on and the Buckfast Bee will lead the way as we roll out our post TPD, TPD-compliancy-exempt, new format ranges of e-juice. Like all our post TPD products, the Bee will be coming on sale in 3 formats……
- As a highly concentrated flavour concentrate3 for DIY juicemakers
- In 120ml bottles at zero nicotine, ready steeped4 and with 5% eggstra flavour. For lazy DIY’rs who have 50-70% nicotine in storage and just want to throw a few mls in as required and get vaping immediately
- In packs of 4 x 17ml, plus one (for 3mg), two (for 6mg) , three (for 9mg) or even 4 bottles (for 12mg) of ‘nic shot’. Customers may have all 4 flavours the same, or mixed across all ranges. These bottles will be again at zero nicotine and UNDERFILLED, to allow vapers to easily add (NO measurements required) the nic shots according to some VERY SIMPLE (M-egga-lulz) direggtions. 5
Right I’ve probably overegged the pudding here, and certainly fried my brain, probably yours too. I’d best crack on……
Please read the footnotes for more information, and more information will be forthcoming over the following weeks. I’m unlikely to be able to reply to individual questions and enquiries at the moment due to rather chaotic goings on at home, and appreciate those customers who’ve been patient enough to stick with B-Juice. Even though I’m rarely around online to show that appreciation. It’s been a bumpy few months. Even bumpier than the preceding bumpy 12 months or so. Which were somehow even bumpier than the months before them, which we didn’t think was possible.
It’s only because of your support that we are still even in the game, and the next few months will be crucial if we are to carry on making our weird quirky juices for ,generally, vapers of a certain age. (lol, just managed to alienate the few younger customers we did have there)
Thanks for reading, and please don’t steal all my eggselent egg puns and yolks without giving me due credit.
1Buckfast Bee contains 2.5% locally sourced unprocessed unadulterated honey to give it its unique flavour. Honey, as a natural product varies in composition from hive to hive , dependent on climate and season and may contain trace amounts of acetoin, which, at high temperatures may convert to diacetyl. We believe it’s a potential harm, but far less harmful than many juices which contain diacetyl as a flavouring compound, or than a cigarette, which on combustion, releases large amounts of diacetyl. Most vapers will be well aware that the link between popcorn lung and diacetyl has never been satisfactorily proven, and additionally that there has never been a case of popcorn lung attributable to tobacco smoking.
2Only available from stock in 6mg, 12mg, and 18mg strengths. Surprisingly there is more 6mg available than anything else, vapers back in 2014 didn’t really require low strengths. 18Mg/ml was always the first to go. You will not need to request either the free item, or specify the strength. You will receive it automatically, at the strength matching your paid order.
3Our concentrates are probably amongst the most concentrated blended flavours on the UK market, and require dilution at a rate of 1 part in 10. All our concentrates are standardised and 10mls of each concentrate makes 100mls finished juice at our recommended strength. Additionally our handsome 10ml square PET bottles are always filled past the shoulder, and contain approx 12mls of concentrate in most cases. 120Mls finished juice from a 10ml bottle of concentrate. Our Concentrates Go Furthur.
4All of Los Colmeneros , Father Gallons Ruin , Figleys Owd Smokey, Beetlejuice, benefit from a long steep and we now make sure these flavours are steeped for 4 weeks before they leave us. Other flavours, in particular Berry McGuigan and the Sultan from the Value range, and the Count of Del Monte cristo, and to some extent the Golden Child, are , in our opinion, best enjoyed fresh.
5The 17 ml bottles contain the flavour concentrate, and Pg/Vg. Nic shots are 10ml bottles of 20mg/ml, so each bottle contains 200mg nicotine. The nicotine shots supplied will be enough to fill the 17ml bottles, to the recommended strength of flavour, and to the nicotine strength required by the customer. Packs will be sold as follows:
For 3mg/ml, 4 x 17ml bottles, filled to 14.5ml, and a single nic shot.
For 6mg/ml, 4 x 17ml bottles, filled to 12ml, and two nic shots
For 9mg/ml, 4 x 17ml bottles, filled to 9.5ml, and three nic shots.
For 12mg/ml, 4 x 17ml bottles, filled to 7ml, and four nic shots
and due to our highly concentrated flavourings we can even supply for vapers at 18mg/ml. Although in reality these vapers may be better off just going fully DIY
For 18mg/ml, 4 x 17ml bottles, filled to only 2ml, almost pure concentrate, and six nic shots to add 15mls per bottle.
IN ALL CASES, NO MEASUREMENT WILL BE REQUIRED, AND NO WASTAGE OR SURPLUS LIQUID WILL BE PRODUCED. The 4 x 17 ml format allows vapers to mix and match flavours, rather than being tied to buying in large bottles that they may not require.
More information, including pricing, on these new products will be made available over the coming weeks. Pricing will be competitive, as it will need to be, and that is another reason for the 4 x 17ml format, which minimises postage costs. All I can say for certain at the moment is that the base cost will be for the 3mg/ml format, with each extra nic shot being charged at just £1.25 each.
Who Was Brother Adam?
From wikipedia, entry “Buckfast Bee” :
“Brother Adam was inspired about the survival of the Italian × black bee crosses. To be able to control the matings, he started to use the isolated valley of Dartmoor. With no other bees within range, Brother Adam could maintain their genetic integrity and develop desirable traits. Brother Adam investigated various honey bee races and made many long journeys in Europe, Africa, and the Middle East, searching for pure races and interesting local stocks.”